Alex knew Jayne was not sleeping well, she was quiet which was not like her, flinching at every movement or sound, even at times gasping and her battered body shivering. He crept down stairs once he heard her get up. She was by the dying fire with its glowing embers spitting up and dancing into the chimney breast. She was just sitting there looking into space a sad expression on her pale face. She had silent tears flowing down her soft cheeks. Alex felt sadness creep into him for her and a need to comfort her. He got a blanket that was on the banister of the stairs and walked to Jayne. She did not hear him. He went behind her and put the blanket around her shoulder. As he did she flinched and gasped. She turned her head and Alex wiped the tears gently from her left cheek. ” shh, I am here Jayne. ” he said in a low but soothing tone. He stoked up the fire laying another log on it, making the fire roar again and give out more heat which began to warm Jayne. He filled a kettle of water and put it on the wood burning stove beside the fire. Jayne just watched him silently, no expression on her face, no emotion shining through her hurt exterior.
” I will make you some warm tea with some lemon and fresh honey. ” He said with a smile. ” Then I will sit with you. You need not talk but if you want to I am here. If not, I will be beside you. ” She just turned her head as he walked to the kitchen once the kettle whistled its song to say I am done. He returned with two cups with spoons, some milk, honey, and lemon slices. He went about making the tea and as he held the kettle he felt a slight burn from its handle. As he dropped the kettle, Jayne gave a slight look of amusement. Her first expression of pure emotion apart from terror since she returned to the old house with Alex after her ordeal at the hands of the order she was part of.
Alex put his three large fingers in his mouth to cool them and as he looked at Jayne he took them out and smiled. ” Glad I could amuse you” he said with a smile. But in that second Jayne went back to blocking her emotions. Alex made two cups of tea with a lemon slice in each and a tea spoon of honey and a dash of milk. He sat beside Jayne and handed her the cup. She sat there holding it between her two hands as if it was a source of heat to her body. Alex sipped at the tea and put it on the coffee table before Jayne. Jayne after a few moments took a few sips of the tea and closed her eyes for a moment. She put out one of her hands and it rested on one of Alex’s cold hands. She said nothing but it was a sign she was grateful for his presence with her and for his comforting love that he displayed.
His patience and the fact he was the first man who showed sexual interest in her but was not exploiting her pain for his sexual gratification and need made Jayne at first worry, become confused. She was not used to any man being with her for anything other than sex, yet, here was a man who saved her at his own risk, is caring for her, treating her with care and love.
Alex was thinking of Jayne and being their for her even if his way was a way that was to him doing nothing for Jayne but to her it was showing her his true love for her and her own ability for now to still be able to trust in him. Trust was a big thing for Jayne as before Alex she had little experience of giving it to anyone. Alex did not know it but, he was doing more for Jayne than he realised.
Alex waited a few moments and Jayne had not taken her hand from his. He placed his other hand on top of her’s and said nothing. She did not remove the hand. The touching of their hands said it all. The comfort, trust in his company, their ease with each other. Alex wanted to make Jayne feel safe with him get used to his touch once again. He knew it would be a long road for Jayne and Alex wanted to be there for ever step of it with her. He had saved her more than once in this lifetime and he was not giving up on her now.
Jayne lay back on the couch her hand slipping from on top of Alex’s. She let out a gasp, fear creeping into her eyes. She stretched her hand out in the dark, lit only by the light from the glowing fire. She scrambled with her hand until she felt Alex’s cold, comforting hand. She placed her hand on it and let the tips of her fingers grab the side of his hand. She pulled it to her like a frightened child clinging onto their safety net, something that reassured them they would be alright, a safety blanket, and that is what Alex was this night to Jayne. He was her link to safety, comfort, a feeling of calm, for with Alex by her side, feeling him there Jayne was able to quickly close her eyes and let sleep fall over her fragile body and mind. It was something that did not come easy to her since the night Alex saved her after gang rape and torture by the hands of the order high council.
As she drifted off to the land of sleep, her hand still loosely on Alex’s she began to mumble in her sleep and stir. Alex took the blanket from her shoulders with his free hand and placed it over her body. After a few moments her mumbling became louder and her movements more violent. She began to sway and kick out violently. Alex became worried and held her by the arms to stop her moving so violently encase she fell off the couch and hurt herself. In that moment she felt him hold her by the arms her nightmares of rape became even more vivid and she bolted up screaming in pure terror.
Alex put a hand gently to Jayne’s cheek as she looked about like a frightened rabbit. Tears now flowin swiftly down her cheeks. As Alex took her in his arms to comfort her she lashed out against his hold telling him to leave her alone that she could take no more. Alex kept hold of her stroking her hair until she began to calm down realising it was Alex she was with and not the order.
Jayne was shivering and shaking, not from cold but her fears. She clung to Alex as if he was a life raft and she was stranded in the ocean, him her only source of safety.
She buried her head in his chest and just cried, her hands clinging under his arms and around part of his back, her nails digging into his flesh. She was not used to having someone care for her, for anywhere to vent her hurt only in the killing of the beasts she was trained to kill.
Jayne cried so much she fell asleep from exhaustion. With Alex holding her, her nightmares continued but not as violent as before.