Muddled inside

Why when I eat do I always end up in pain? I wish I wish I knew. 

Wanting to scream, double in pain and cry as my stomach hurts so bad it not just hurts like the dickons but feels bloated, raw, all around and bottom left. 

Every meal, every snack I worry in my mind will I end up in such pain I want to rip my stomach out. Some days it makes me feel so tired and lacking the energy I need. 

Day after day, night after night the noises, the gurgling, the churning I hear in my tum.

It reminds me of a foggy, grey day, gloomy, muddled up and not clear for you to see what is happening behind the veil of fog. 

I hide it from others this daily pain and wish one day to know why, why it affects me. But waiting an age for just a letter to get a date to see a specialist to hopefully solve this maddening cycle of torture to my system. 


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