Blog · Poetry

Life Path And Me

The story of our path is when we go through life, where different events, diverse people change who we are in subtle or major ways. Some individuals rub off on us on our life journey, others we may forget or push away over time.

As we grow we evolve. We question internally or externally things we do, if not all most certainly almost each and every day. This might lead to confusion within us. We may even end up doing silly things to ourself as this confusion bombards us and leaves us unsure of so much in our life and our being.

For me spirituality, love of God, Jesus Holy Mary, Archangel Michael, my guardian angels, spirit guides both animal and human as well as St. Anthony, St. Pio have helped me live along with two human angels I have encountered in recent years and continue to love as well as two special brothers in Christ.

My life looked normal, easy but inner turmoil, my inability to interact very well with others coupled with my slow learning ability, shyness and extreme sensitivity did nothing to help. I remember as a child wanting to go home to my father I knew was not my human one. I never told others and I found it difficult to fully understand. I must have broke my human father’s heart as for the early years of my life I used to put my hand up to him 80% of the time saying not you dada as he would come near me. I felt empty towards him like he was a strange for so many years.

As I grew I tried to link a bond with him finding things he liked and I would try or learn to love them too. But so often after I began this he would lose interest in those things from certain shows to soccer to darts even snooker for examples. I tried to make us close and I know he cared but not in a way to tell me and make me feel I knew it.

I am not afraid of my human father, my mother terrifies me. My father is complex and seems not to show emotions openly but on occasion very rare kind of does to someone like my mother his emotions about someone in his family. Most of the time over hurt caused to him. Seeing his childlike hurt from the eyes to soul it chips at your heart.

I care I really do but it comes out mostly all wrong. This world is not made for the likes of me but for those akin to me to try and fix it even a little and pushing thorns and brambles in our path aside. We may get scratched, recieve some pain but… every bit of hope, every smile and happy word we see leave unhappy souls due to us is a joy, a piece of us imparted on them.

Until we feel we have discovered the path we are meant to be on, the world does not truly open up to us in eyes of new. But as it does we are reborn from the inside into a world we have been but not really lived. Our eyes see the world and all in it like Jesus rejoices each time a sinner repents. We see it all more wondrously and bright as our heart with our soul soars, our spirit dances. Yes we will have bad days everyone does, ours emotionally wounding but the feeling of path knowing will keep us alive as will those we trust in the knowledge of the true us.


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