Life??

I feel sad most of the time, lonely, hurting and an idiot. I cannot shake the feeling of stupidity I feel inside.

I do not feel like I belong, anywhere on this earth, but miles away someone safe where life is not as bad.

I am not happy, anything but. If I were not here I would not mind. I have no friends around, no life outside of work my fear, where I feel an outcast, stupid, useless and alone. Going home to parents, feeling alone. Eating, sleeping, losing who I am, who I was bit by bit. Day by day, hour by hour.

Who I was is fading, who I want to be faded to almost nothing. Life is pain, a quote from a movie I love.

I am hard to like, I do not know why. It hurts being all alone. My heart pains, it cries all the time. I feel a void in a world I do not understand so well.

I wish I was liked, I wish I had friends near by and I did not feel physically alone. But, I am me, a little less each day. Lost in the abyss, lost in a life I am not meant to be. A life that makes me hurt, cry day by day. I am no longer me only a shadow of my inner self. One I wish to return to but feel I never can.